Eurovision Art Contest - Lighter Than Air

Once again Michael Schlingman won the months Eurovision.
I think we need to change our method of voting, whereby the most talented individuals with the best work give the rest of us foot massages or something.

Cannot think of a pun for the title

Daily Grind

My wacom tablet is fucked, but I do like these thin lines as it makes it look a bit Tove Jannsonny.
I shall get another pen when the house is sold...

Also.
I was brought up to believe that everyone has a right to be on the planet and live a nice life.
I have no issue with race, gender or sexual preference.
So having said all that, I have just upset the new girl who declared that two men together was disgusting.
I suggested that was something she probably needed to have a good think about.
I personally have no great desire to shag other men, but I certainly encourage them to do it as often as they would like to.
And surely two fellers getting it on is not any less silly and ridiculous as anyone else (except two girls - phwoar!).
So this picture is for you Nardo!


And to finish on a completely unrelated non-bottom note.
Here is a comment made by one of the New Prophets on the blog of another of the same sect:
" All the best corpses turn in their graves.
Only the dull are left to rest in peace."

Welcome To Television

"Welcome to television".
These were the words spoken by Bruce Gyngel on the first television broadcast in Australia.
I found this television publication at a friends place (he collects all kinds of weird shit).
It's from a 1974 magazine called Technical Review (year I was born!).

Check out these sexy boys - no, it's not Pedophiles Anonymous, but some tech folks.
Most techies still look like this I'm sorry to say (like Francis Coppola, Sam Raimi and Billy Bob Thornton)



Look what we learned to do!
We learned to take one bit of vision, and mix it over the top of another bit!
Take that ILM!
I can't even begin to imagine what they are going to be be cutting together...

Fancy a television broadcaster?
They're a little smaller now.
This one also made coffee and gently massaged your penis if you slid it into a little hole on the side.

Meaningless Violence

Silly machines.
Mad scientists.
Blood.
Rewind...play.
Silly machines.
Mad scientists........

The Family

Sometimes I'll spent 10 minutes rattling around a piece of paper before turfing it all and drawing
something that takes about 40 seconds and feels a thousand times better.
This is the case here.

Dead Head

Don't you hate it when two girls are about to have sex and then when one goes to the loo the other one has her head sawn off by some crazy person?

Executive Decision

I just spent 40 minutes in a car with one of our sales execs and this has prompted this drawing.
In a moment of David Brent like magic, he told me in a single breath that not only did he want to do some work for the red cross (quite passionate he was too), but also wanted to go live on an island in the sun and never have to worry about things.
He did tell me something very amusing about an executive at my old workplace called Mr P Milne.
He has a nickname - TIM, that is being used by the big boss there.
TIM stands for That Idiot Milne.
You may not know him, but it is very fitting.

Seminar

If you read the post below you will know I was sent to a copywriting seminar for the day.
As it happens the event was rather mismarketed and was pretty much irrelevant to us TV guys.
The guest speaker was a bloke called Drayton Bird who some of you advertising types out there may have heard of.
He spoke well and at length about things that had no baring on us whatsoever and made some appalling jokes that no-one laughed at.
The highlight of the day was a picture I defaced in the handout.
It was Albert Einstein holding his hands in a particular way.
I made it look like he was holding another mans penis.
It may not sound it, but it was exceptionally funny.
Here are the highlights of the many doodles I did during the day (not including the defaced Albert Einstein picture that I unfortunately left behind).

Night In Hobart

Work cleverly sent Nardia (my new co-producer) and I to Hobart for a copywriting seminar.
My dear pal Alex "Manchild" Harris from the rival network was also going so we decided to meet up for drink the night before.
The hotel I was staying at was rather nice.
I was upgraded to what is called an Antique suite.
This meant it had some old furniture, which on a world scale is not that old.
Australia is only 220 years of age.
I repaid their kindness by waking up in the night and vomiting enthusiastically over the carpet.
I discovered the next morning that I'd spent $30 on room service although what I ate remains a mystery because I don't recall the experience.


Nadia and I ate at Marty Zuccos, a popular Italian place.
There was a cell on the wall signed by Charles McKimson who I'm assuming is related to Robert McKimson, judging from the linework.

This is, in order, Nadia, Jen (who became more and more racist and unpleasant as the evening progressed), Alex and Brad Pitt.



This is Jen before she decided to express her views on Jewish folks.

Nadia doesn't drink, bless her.
She will now be called "Taxi".

Then we started drinking vodka shots.

I include this picture because it's more flattering than the others.

Alex was beginning to wind down.

These are Jens boobs (I assume).
I include them merely to illustrate that even the most pathetic, no-hoping, loser can have at least one or two worthwhile attributes.
Why Alex is holding that ticket there is a mystery.

This is Stone Henge made from hay bales.
It's very large and amuses me a great deal.
This was taken on the way back.
I am not fully recovered and have enjoyed a few cleansing ales to get myself together again.

Octopussy

This is inspired by a small avi a friend sent me via the internet (god bless the internet).
At a glance one may have assumed that is was a pornographic film, but I believe it had a health based message, encouraging women to chew their food properly.

Also - under extreme duress, I am being sent to Hobart to attend a copywriting seminar.
There are approximately 410 things I'd prefer to be doing without wasting my time in another city for a day and a half.
A friend of mine from the other network has also been volunteered to go.
We have a plan to go out on the piss tonight and be too hungover to attend....
We shall see and I'll catch you all on Wednesday.

You Sexy Thing

I am much better at drawing what I am feeling at any given moment than what I can see.
I'm not sure what I was feeling when I drew this.
Looks a bit like Judy Dench.

Also - my email is back online - cowane@wintas.com.au
Cheers

What May Come

I've been busy both at work and on a project of my own so I've not posted much in the way of drawing for a while.
Here is a quick sketch that depicts how I feel every time I think about my plans for the future.

Beer

This is the J Boag and Son Brewery, which, at the moment at least, makes my favourite beer: Boags Premium.
Boags Premium is kept for up to 60 days in the maturation tanks to achieve that full Premium taste.
I know this because I spent several week one year directing a documentary about the place (that was actually a really nice job that was completely fucked in the arse by a dreadful VO that one of the executives at the brewery insisted upon..anyway).
What you can see from the street are called the mash-tunns.
In 1999 Boags almost had to stop making beer when some clever fellow refilled the tunns with more hops before emptying the last lot, which is kind of like using twice as much self raising flour in a small cake tin.
I don't really think I've captured it in these pictures, but this room in which the mash tunns are kept has a real 1930s sci-fi feel to it.
Lots of silver pipes and glowing lights.

Entertaining

This is what how one looks when one is entertaining a 3 year old.
The top image is a preview of Disney's new design for Mickey Mouse.

Celebrity Chef and good friend of mine, Charmaine Candi-Brown has suggested a similarity between these images and the likeness of popular Australian comedy character, Aunty Jack (1970s).

Cut Out Scribble

Real Life Paid Work

There really isn't much of a hint of it through the blog, but I do actually get paid to draw occasionally.
There is an Australian version of James Herriot (kind of) called Dr Harry Cooper.
I illustrated his series of books and these pictures are from the 3rd book, where I had an editor who pretty much let me draw what I pleased - the other books are way too cute and repulsive.
There was one really good drawing about his time in Russia where I had him floating in a bottle of vodka that was rejected though.
These are pretty shitty scans because I can't find the original artwork disks....

Pinpointing

I have been working on all this little illustrations as stepping stones to a bigger project.
Last night I finally wrote some words down to go with the shenanigans.

Anyone for Cake?

Here's a thing.
Does anyone know of the guitar player Marc Ribot?
If so - does anyone know how to pronounce his name?
Is it RI-BOW as in bow and arrow, or is it RIBOT like the noise a frog makes?

Wash

It may seem like I'm having a productive weekend, but in fact these images are all very small (half A4).
Here are some things of note.
1) I use pen and ink for a couple of reasons. It's a challenging medium for a starter. And I also have huge admiration for artists that can create all that light and shade with only black and white cross hatching. As far as my own work is concerned, I've only just begun to really understand how to do this and have really only been really happy with a few images I've created.
2) I took it as bit of a blow when I started adding a wash to my images a few months back (seemed to be giving up on a totally black and white world). I was very pleased with the results however and had forgotten about it until this afternoon.
3) The scanner here at work is hopeless. These images are done entirely in black ink and water, so essentially they are grey scale. The scanner creates a vague purple hue which is not accurate.
4) I am currently working on some kind of story for these characters. Peril and mayhem scenarios I imagine.