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Saturday, May 28, 2005

Red Right Hand

It is Saturday evening and I have come back to work to use the internet.
I do have a computer at home but it is in storage and the connection here is better.
I was hoping to catch someone online.
I can't remember the math to find out if they are actually awake...oh wait I have this website that works it out for right back.

Yeah ok they probably wont be online at 4 in the morning.
I have discovered in the last few weeks that 3 of my former clients have all been in trouble with the law.
One for stealing coporate funds, one for burning his business down, and one is having copyright issues.
2 of these clients are really nice people and the one pinching the money is a dreadful character.
There is an arguement that I could have sent all three of them on the road to villainy, but I am innocent in this case.

I was actually intending to do some hard yards and get some extensive picture posting done, but the phones have been ringing here non stop since I got here.
I am reluctant to answer them as they will almost certainly be someone complaining about whatever is being broadcast at the moment.
There has, in the last half hour, obviously been some violence or nudity on the television which tends to get old folks pretty cranky.
They seem to think that something will happen if they nag enough.
Or perhaps there's a sporting event on that's not being televised in Tasmania.
People LOVE to phone to complain.
Just before I started my last job, they moved the game show, Wheel of Fortune (phones have stopped for the first time in half an hour - my guess is that it was one person with a mission and...oops to we go again...I'm going to answer before I go and use an amusing accent a silly voice and insist they have the wrong number) had its time slot changed from 5 to 5:30 and all the local nursing homes were up in arms because all the old folks would watch Wheel of Fortune, have their dinner and then piss off to bed.
The time change meant that they were going to bed a whole half hour later!
Can you imagine.
Here in Tassie, people often don't realise that the two commercial television stations are not run by exactly the same people, so they will sometimes see something on one network, then phone the other to complain.
And then get shitty when you tell them that there's nothing you can do (I am now certain this is one person with an issue. They continue to ring but they are leaving more space between calls and letting it ring for a shorter and shorter time).
There is also the possibility that the person calling is a particular dumbshit cameraman who has driven past and noticed I'm here.
If it is him, then this is his version of a joke.

I just answered it and said it was the wrong number - I'm going to answer next time.

Ahhh. Righto. The digital signal this network broadcasts has obviously dropped out.
I've answered the phone using a very realistic and feminine voice and flirted outrageously with 3 different people including one old woman (who thought I was delightful).
I'm going to answer in a real Aussie voice shortly and tell whoever it is to piss off.
I shall take a few more of these calls to entertain myself, then I'm going home.Posted by Hello


Anonymous said...

(lol) You're so funny Elliot.

I know what you mean about people loving to use the phone for the sole purpose of complaining. Usually I'd put such complaints on loudspeaker, then I'd go to the loo or go find something to eat. They want to talk, so I don't see why I couldn't wander off as they yap on.

I hate answering phones. Maybe I should get, like, a personal phone assistant. Then I could decide whether or not I want to talk.

Or, I could just get a phone that vibrates; the noise wouldn't be as annoying then would it?

Or I could just shuttup and answer the bloody phone when it rings pretending I like what Im doing?

Oh the choices!

Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

That's why I like working Sundays no interruptions. When I worked tech support for a computer company then it drove me nuts dealing with people on the phone with their inane computer issues.

Being English sometimes I say "Hello" with an American accent and people usually think they have the wrong number and hang up. Never tried a female voice though.


Elliot Cowan said...

Sar - Always glad to entertain.

NFlounder - It is hard to do a convincing female voice, I'm not sure I do, but it seemed to work ok last night.

AmandaJenn said...

Hi Elliot,
It's Amanda. I love the painting with the guy holding the umbrella. It's my favorite. I wish you could come to my birthday party!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're glad to entertain :)

Elliot Cowan said...

Amanda! HA!
How's things?
I wish I could be at your birthday party also.
Instead I stayed home with a pal and watched this weeks edition of the Big Brother Eviction.
Stupid Gianna was booted out.
Hope you're having fun and have several drinks for me.

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