Dear John

Ode To My Prime Minister

Dear John,
I left our lands some months ago,
And I think that you should know,
That no-one here knows who you are,
But I said "Give him a go!".
"Then tell us all about him" the crowd then said with glee.
I scratched my head,
Said "Um" and "Ahhh",
And pondered the inquiry.
Then after several minutes,
A speech formed in my head.
"I tell you all about John!"
And this is what I said.
"Imagine a special kind of man,
To make your mind go numb.
A man so dull and pointless,
A kind of human valium.
Completely lacking presence.
A thoroughly awful wretch.
And even less personality
Than that parrot in that sketch.
His favourite colour's mushroom.
His car is coloured beige.
His favourite hobby's counting.
It's by these things you should gage,
That despite how much he tries to be,
Despite how much he wants it.
This man is most unfortunately
More a fart than real effort".
"On second thought" I said to all,
"Perhaps it's just as well,
That you've never hear of this dreary man.
To enthuse you would be quite a sell.
Forget I even mentioned it,
Forget I said his name.
Forget he even existed,
And I shall do the same".