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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Nigella Does in Fact Bite


There is a very good show on the tv here in the UK called "Who Do You Think You Are?".
It involves various celebrities tracing their families histories.
There have been some surprising and interesting tales - in particular there was a fellow - a black athlete, who was shocked to discover that there was not that much "black" in his genetic makeup.
Fascinating stuff.
Last night television chef, sexpot and cook bookist, Nigella Lawson traced her family tree.
She didn't trace is so much as try and bully it into what she wanted it to be.
Nigella is from a very fancy, wealthy family, and I think she was hoping to find that her descendents were part of the same fancy, wealthiness.
It did not prove to the be the case and she was not very happy about it.
She spent a lot of time posing fanciful solutions to minor mysteries, and trying to reinvent sinister things in a more jolly light.
Such as: Great grandpa so and so was convicted of stealing, but didn't turn up to his court case.
Reason: He legged it out of the country so he wouldn't get in trouble.
Nigellas reason: Great grandpa so and so was so clever, that he he knew that he'd been wrongly accused and felt it was easiest to go to a whole new country and change his name.
She also spent a lot of the show wandering around holding a purse at a very specific angle to try and hide her massive arse.
She needed a bigger purse.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

The purse comment reminds me of the movie Calendar Girls....'We're going to need significantly bigger buns'.

Rebekit said...

is a good drawing, I have a cousin with the same body shape, boys usually prefer her to walk w out a purse. Especially the latin men.

Jonathan said...

I'm afraid I was too busy admiring her breasts to notice her arse.

Oscar Grillo said...

Charles Saatchi can afford her.

limbolo said...

Cheers, Mr. E.
This is what we come to the sandwich bag for...

Elliot said...

A delightful compliment Mr Lim B. Olo

Paul Sørensen said...

Why try to hide such a magnificent specimen?

Elliot said...

Indeed.

Boris Hiestand said...

and to think I was actually in love with her!
you opened my eyes Cowan, what a biatch-ah!

Elliot said...

you can still want to fuck her Boris...

mr-dunn* said...

we have a cookbook..the spine reads from top to bottom.
HOW TO EAT NIGELLA LAWSON

the spacing of the type is very suspect and always grabs my attention

 
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