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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Red Hot Jism


I was rather taken aback yesterday when a few of the visitors to my blog suggested that my images were cute and made people feel good.
This is something that I found a little perplexing.
Consequently I've created a series of slightly distasteful images in the hope of combating this perception.
The first in the series is of a boss who has forced the errand boy to give him a blowie.
At the moment of ejaculation, the bosses wife has walked in.
Whoops! Posted by Hello

46 comments:

LeeLoreya said...

oh don't be ashamed. I didn't mean hallmark cute, teddy bear cute or anything like that.

hum...
I don't have enough vocabulary to define it then. Amusing-cute?Brilliant cute? ...

and be warned, I might find these "distateful images" even more adorable heheh.

LeeLoreya said...

(if it reassures you, I find ted plympton and robert crumb cute)

Red Egg said...

Aw Elliot. Leeloreya's right. We didn't mean super-adorable-typical-Hallmark-let's-pinch-their-cheeks-cute.
Least I don't think we did.

Your drawings are more fresh and so alive; that kind of cute.

I mean I find Jack from NB Christmas to be cute :)

By the way, he looks like he's gurggling after brushing his teeth.

LeeLoreya said...

LOL

and the bigger one:"come on kid I ain't got all night"

but still, the look on the tiny one's face is a look of agony, and gurgling isn't that painful normally.

so "where did pinky the hamster go? have you seen him kid? hey answer me when I ask you a question.
-Mmhbhh
-What
-Mmhhhbbhhb...mbhh
-Didn't I already tell you to speak clearly and a-rti-cu-late? What is that thing in your pouth anyway"

or "what's the matter kid, did you rip your gums with some sharp M&Ms bits?
-[restraining sobs]"

LeeLoreya said...

(mouth, not pouth, sorry)

Red Egg said...

lol...

Kid, "The monkey ripped all my teeth out!"

Man, "Ah. That's terrible... Here, have a suposatory."

LeeLoreya said...

lol


poor elliott
his blog has become kindergarden for sar and leeloreya who joke and laugh and suck their thumbs.

Red Egg said...

lol.

Elliot, I really hope you don't mind?

Leeloreya - you know I really did suck my thumb when I was younger? So much in fact that to shut me up (so to speak), my mother used to stick it in my mouth for me! lol :P

LeeLoreya said...

LOL you must've been a real babbler

I used (sometimes still do) pick the skin off my dried lips in winter. Sometimes I even stop walking because I'm so concentrated.

I think Elliot is off to bed no? I mean what time it's midnight in australia, it's written here in the commenting space.

Let's go and hammer on his door heheheheh.

Red Egg said...

(LOL) I was my family's own personal radio. My mother was convinced I'd swallowed one.

I probably still am pretty chatty; if you know how to pull me out that is.

But come on, it's not a bad thing ;)

Yeh the lip thing I understand but the walking/concentration, that's new to me. What do you concentrate on that you forget to keep moving? Must be important, no?

Elliot, yeh he's probably dreaming... of that monkey? THe nurse? Both of them?

"Let's go and hammer on his door"

This reminds me, did you know a couple of bloggers are setting up to meet in Vegas?

LeeLoreya said...

uh no i didn't know, but now that you've told me, i'll go to bed less dumb.
So, who what when where why?

i stop so that i focus entirely on the lip and it's so thin that it's really hard to rip it off but i want it to bleed so bad...

my parents sum up my first five years as: sleeping, crying, eating, sleeping, crying, eating... which is bliss compared to my brother who explored everything like some urban miniature indiana jones. He climbed on the window once, just to see what was behind that open thing in the apartment. Luckily, my mom came in before he tried to act like minisuperman from the third floor...

so how was it at dinner table
"Sar, 8PM, weather forecast"?

Red Egg said...

Ah, aren't you glad I just enlightened you on the matter, then?
I feel so good already :P

Tell me you're not into S&M; you like it to bleed?

They're meeting sometimes in October I think, in Las Vegas. I think they're calling it a Blogger Convention. Although it's not very big; more of a test drive. Who: Almost everybody on WordWhiz's blog. Why: Just to get to know each other better I think.

See, it's odd because everyones become such good friends through blogging and whatnot that it feels like they've known each other for longer you know what I mean? Does that make sense?

(LOL) So cute. My brother was like you, eat, sleep, and go to the toilette. I was just a little more like your brother, Let me see, let me speak, listen to me, pay attention to me.

Dinner? Who's having dinner? Oh dear, that just flew right over my head.

LeeLoreya said...

what flew over your head? the dinner platter? did the monkey throw it at you because the peanuts were too salty?

oh alright, now not only have you enlightened me but made me mad mad jealous because most of the blogs I read are from UK, US and other english speaking countries and I'm stuck here in bloody France until september which is just looovely. Anyway, I don't know whordwhiz, but I see what you mean, people find a community in which they fit. Tell me, are you going?

funny you ask me about s&m because those letters are the initials to my real name. No i'm not the whip/leather/handcuffs thing but pain is always something that increases pleasure.

LeeLoreya said...

and yeah, I became look at me later on, but more like "don't look at me because I know you will" kind heheheheh.

Red Egg said...

Yeh, I think it needed a bit more sugar.

"No i'm not the whip/leather/handcuffs thing but pain is always something that increases pleasure."

Ok, kewl ;) Just double checking.

So how come you're in France until Sept. What happens when Sept. comes? If you don't mind me asking, that is.


Umm. No I don't think I'll be going. Certain circumstances won't let me.

Red Egg said...

*Don't be jealous.
We'll plan another one just for you. When you can make it ;)

LeeLoreya said...

oh careful with the kewl, elliott might wake up sweating and furious.

"i heard the K .... I heard the K...wikkid.....kewl...mommy"

what happens when september comes? that sounds veery sombre and menacing y'know.
like that green day song
"wake me up...when september comes"

well, september is me walking on waters to the United Kingdom (whoa how grandiose), ending 13 years of enjoyable but tiring french life.
tadaa!

"certain circumstances" eh?
do you remember in harry met sally, she always she, utterly shocked "i'm not gonna tellyou that!" and he says "suit yourself" and she always ends up telling . So, just so you know, I am so not curious to know what those circumstances are, I mean really, why should I be? I SO DON'T Care!!

Red Egg said...

Yeh you're right. We don't want to upset the Artist. Never upset the artist. I mean look at what Goya ended up creating.

Ah so you're going to the UK for university or just moving countries?

Yup certain circumstances. Very nice try though I'll have to give you that.

I like that movie. :P

So how curious are you, really?? (LOL)

LeeLoreya said...

what like on richter scale curious?

"Ah so you're going to the UK for university or just moving countries? "
when I read that the first thing that came to mind was me and my mighty biceps moving the continents like pieces of a puzzle.
Then a Hulk/Atlas cry, hiting chest and all..
yeah I'm going to university, since I skipped this year already, I just loathed french system so much.

you got my email right?

alright,
[bubble bubble bubble
boil boil boil
BOIL BOIL BOIL]
that's a pot of boiling water, symbolizing my increasing curiosity

Red Egg said...

(lol) Muscle Mania huh?

Hang on I'm going to check my email right now.

Red Egg said...

Didn't get anything.

LeeLoreya said...

no i was thinking about you sending me an explanation later, y'know after spending hours medidating on your couch and speaking to the CIA to check if I wasn't in the Most Wanted list.

Red Egg said...

OH!! (LMAO)

Hmm... My circumstances: It's nothing big really, it's just that I may be traveling elsewhere to visit family around that time.

Would you go? If you could?

CIA? What world do you live in? I'd like to visit it sometime.

I've spend all the time I need meditating your situation and Yoda and I think it's safe to say that... you're in the clear.

After all we are neighbours. Non? ;)

LeeLoreya said...

oh exakatakally (now elliot is definitely waking up from his sleep in which he's imagining his distateful drawing of a cuckolded wife)!

Woul I go? to Vegas? Are you asking??? I spend entire afternoon in the travel section of the bookstore where they have really entertaining travel books so I sit back and spent hours on the east coast, yosemite then whoosh, california, then canada, then south of italy, then NZ...
Going to Vegas is like eating candy, I would love to, but I'd soon feel sick. Just a couple of days. Or, couple of hours more like.

Red Egg said...

Yeh. Poor cuckolded wife.

I'll take that lovely paragraph as a yes.

But I do agree, I wouldn't enjoy spending more than a day or two there. There's only so much gambling and shit you can do, ya know?

LeeLoreya said...

to go to those inexpensive all you can eat buffets you have to stroll through the casino. everything is strategy for you to spend more.

And when there are no "conventions" of any kind, rooms in hotel can be like 10 times cheaper than usual because they also own the casino, the restaurant, everything.
But there's something in this extravagance that's touching. I dunno, the city in itself is like a vampire, it comes alive at night.
it's a myth, sort of.

Red Egg said...

Hmm.. Yeh I do see what you mean.
But you can get bored of it very quickly. Because everything is laid out for you. Nothing is "hidden" so to speak.

LeeLoreya said...

yeah and you must be totally in pain by using your wrist on the money machines, and they even offer you champagne, knowing that it helps the customer to open his wallet..
and then, the gloom behind the glamour. depressing, hangover, you head back to you small civilized city on a monday morning.

Red Egg said...

Yeh... I don't know why people do it. *sigh*

LeeLoreya said...

it's an addiction, like anything. and in fact, it's sort of democratical also, anyone can win, there is proof of complete tramps winning fat sums and when the boss congratulates them and asks if there's something else he can offer, the guy says through the holes in his teeth "Ye-aw Ah Wouldn't m-ah-nd a burger and a beer!"

Red Egg said...

(LOL)

Ohmygod, this reminds me. Did you know they actually have DIAPERS which slot machine adicts wear?

I didn't know that. Well, until recently.

LeeLoreya said...

lol! because of the stress so they don't pee in their pants and don't have to go to the toilet so often (which results in them not using the machines, therefore the bosses losing money)?

Red Egg said...

You got it! (lol)

It's so sick, no?

LeeLoreya said...

very!

which leaves me wondering, how do people last four hours at the oscars? do they wait until the camera if off them to go pee or smoke or eat? I mean I can't last four hours without smoking or peeing. Do they put some diapers in those gift packages as well?

Red Egg said...

I think they have intermission or something?

(lol) Imagine, Jack Nicholson in a diaper at the Oscars. Highly doubtful. :P

LeeLoreya said...

lol.


still, they could tell them.
"look honey, you're earning about $100 000 per film minimum, you got this $3000 worth gift package, i worked my ass for weeks just so that anyone in Oklahoma or Timbuktu can see your smile LIVE wherever they are, so hold your stomach, take some nicotine gums and STAY IN YOUR GODDAMN CHAIR"

Red Egg said...

(LMAO)

You'd make one hell of a boss you know that??

I think we should unleas you on Hollywood. Show them how the game's played.

LeeLoreya said...

that's what my profile is aaall about.

Lethal dictator at MGM or greedy opportunist at Miramax.

LeeLoreya said...

or an agent, just to befriend famous egomaniacs and watch them snooze and poo and be tired then defend them against the press as if I were their mother

Red Egg said...

True enough. They really don't realize that it's us running the show and not them. (Erm... You rather, and not them)

LeeLoreya said...

you know
you could be a mouth model.
like some people are hand models for watches and and?
you could be advertising lipsticks, get a lutta money and still reamin comfortably anonymous

Red Egg said...

I could... If that were my mouth, or is it?

LeeLoreya said...

is it an (spooky hand movement) ILLUSION?

Red Egg said...

Maybe.... Maybe not *squints one eye*

Anonymous said...

Would you two please get a room????

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